Written by matwil
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Tags: swine flu

Friday, 22 May 2009

image for 10 steps to take to avoid catching swine 'flu The dreaded great black shark being struck by lightning on the M1

Do wash your hands many times a day, as all people over the age of 3 do

Don't read the Daily Express

Don't watch ITN News

Don't jump into any canals full of rabid, starving, great white sharks

Don't wait to be struck by lightning

Don't send your taxes to the Labour government

Don't read Labour government leaflets

Don't walk into the middle of the M1 fast lane, with a sign saying 'Please kill me'

Don't become an American soldier

Do carry on as if a vague relation of the common cold is completely and utterly trivial

BBC, ITN and Sky executives will be made redundant soon, for filling up the news with the most feeble non-story since an earthquake didn't happen in Alloa. Which did. Hazel Blears was unavailable for comment, as she was too busy claiming expenses for being terribly scared of catching swine 'flu.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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