With a firm grip around Nancy Pelosi's waist, bouncing her against his hip, Donald Trump announced that the Speaker of the House will retain her position as second in line and runner up to President Obama.
Joe Biden questioned, "Does that make me first runner up? Man, I haven't even done my bikini pageant walk!" With a wave of the hand, Trump dismissed the necessity of the bikini pageant walk.
"Hey, I also have an opinion about gay marriage for your Miss California, Veneers Prejean. If it ain't gay, it ain't happy. And you can't catch the train home to a unhappy marriage."
Ayeeee. Trump sent Biden out for coffee.
Former President George Bush crept forward from his gated community in Dallas, Texas, to question Trump, "Who made you the decider? I'm the decider!" Trump replied that Bush and his team were fired with the '08 election. "They can do that?"
Huffing with indignation, the orange man stepped up to the microphones, somber of expression, chin tucked in, taking issue with Ms. Pelosi's claim that she was lied to by the CIA, suggesting she should show the proof or apologize for calling the CIA a gang of cut throat lying sons of witches, who deliberately misled the congress!
So what if torture was used 83 times on one man, in one month, by the CIA, for the United States, signers of the Geneva Convention, land of the brave and the free, symbol of honor throughout the world. The point is the date, not torture. Stick to the date. If the Speaker of the House can't get her dates straight, she should resign, be impeached, or fired.
Quick as Jack Flash, Joe Biden was back with a tray of coffee, doughnuts, cream and sugar. "Hey, orange man, if you take the D.C. train to Delaware and hang your head out the window, by the time you reach Wilmington, you'll have a natural looking Robert Redford tan and your veneers will take on a real white Pepsodent sparkle. But watch the head rug. You might lose it before the train pulls out of Union Station."