Written by Johnny Cool
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Sunday, 10 May 2009

An investigation by the Sunday BrownNoser revealed expenses claimed by MPs


Gordon Brown: £800 fee on a course 'How to be a leader'

Michael Martin: Speaker spent £1,400 on chauffeurs to his local job centre to claim Income support and housing benefit.

Margaret Moran: £250 on a Weight Watchers course

David Cameron: £2.50 for a hair cut at Imrans barbers and £25,000 on a bike purchased at a car boot sale.

Tony Blair:£23 on a remmington nose and ear hair trimmer and £10,000,000 on household shopping.

Margaret Beckett: £600 claim for fixing two front teeth.

Hazel Blears: claims for 3 different hair dyes and a self help book 'Gingers mingers can be succesful' totaling £185,000

Alistair Darling:Spent £500 on an Economics NVQ level 1 course

Lord Mandelson: £185 on a YMCA poster £1250 for lunch at the Blue Oyster club

David Miliband:£160,000 on cosmetic surgery and a £3 on book called 'Make me into Tony'

Nick Clegg:Same as David Milliband

John Prescott: two lavatory seats in two years and £16,000 on toilet paper in two years - blamed it on the curries.

Jack Straw: Attended a course on 'How to have a personality' £13,000

Keith Vaz claimed £75,500 for rental services obtained in Brighton

Alex Salmond claimed £400 per month for protecting William Wallaces grave.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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