Written by Khadija
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for 'Michael Barrymore' mocks 'Susan Boyle' he is to be flogged! The scene outside 'Michael Barrymore's' house tonight!

I wrote last week a 'predictable' prediction (pleonasm - I know), that Michael Barrymore would be used as a scapegoat for Susan Boyle's lack of success throughout her long life. Because the press already have vilified him, old Barrymore is a soft target. All media darlings need an opposing villain. Shilpa and Jade, Sadam Hussein and the World, Jade and Jade and now Boyle and Barrymore.

I was a bit concerned about the lack of interest in the story last week. I thought I had been to hard on the press, too cynical. But I was being premature Michael Barrymore is to be flogged for being Michael Barrymore, they have finally found the incriminating footage of Bazza being the fart he is.

Last Week are wrote April 20th I wrote:

"Brave 'Susan Boyle' 47, who is the current title holder of "PEOPLE'S PRINCESS' a position more precarious than Rosie O'Donnell on a balance beam, once auditioned for the Media Demon Michael Barrymore's programme 'MY KIND OF PEOPLE' and was rejected by MEDIA DEMON BARRYMORE and his team- they 'made her nervous'. You heard it BARRYMORE. He rejected the nations Princess -BARRYMORE. Have you got the name yet BARRYMORE, rejected SUSAN BOYLE.

In an act of cruelty Barrymore did not accept Susan as a potential star, when she was in her thirties, because like everyone else in the industry- everyone wanted young people under twenty-five- including Simon Dowell- especially Simon Dowell.

In light of this common knowledge, many of us are scratching our heads and asking where Susan Boyle been for SOOOOOO many years. When we know the answer was being rejected by the age and appearance obssessed industry".

Michael Barrymore cannot be solely accountable for Boyle's lack of career or can he?The beauty of the internet is the public can accurately predict a story before the press.

With that said members of the government- Gordon Brown only; is pressurising the Queen to re-instate hanging and try Barrymore for treason and doing Hitler impersonations.

Jumping in on the bandwagon, another media demon Jodie Marsh said "He was nasty to me on BB, if I agree to help you stone him, everyone must promise not to stone me afterwards." People promised nothing.

Simon Cowell, who has been formally named the new Prime Minister of Britain alongside his deputy Max Slifford called for calm. " Barrymore hasn't struck it lucky in some time and cannot make me any dough - therefore I don't care", he chirped smugly.

His deputy Max Slifford was less forgiving " I say we flog Barrymore and I charge for tickets to the event. If you have deep pockets, you may even get to give him a few lashes yourself. How about I run a competition, placing golden tickets in chocolate bars to give him a right going over. I love retrospectively blaming people, it backs them into a corner and makes them come to me to sort the mess out. Yippee!".

Gordon Brown who is now fiftieth in line to his job as PM said "Can people ignore what I am doing all day and look at Barrymore, he's a bad man and should at least get some sort of pinch, wedgey or Chinese burn. For God sake people his act was entirely based around Basil Fawlty, that deserves a damn good thrashing alone".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

65 readers are online right now!

Go to top