Written by bschooled
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Monday, 27 April 2009

Wow, Marty…it is Marty, right? I see you have added me as a friend on Facebook. I guess this site really does reunite people! Even distant, barely-casual acquaintances who couldn't pick each other out of a line-up if their life depended on it…

I was just wondering, out of curiosity, could you refresh my memory and tell me exactly where we met or how we know each other? Were you in Mrs. Charlton's Sunday school class at St. Mary's Catholic Church? Or did we by chance sleep together at Barry's Halloween party back in 1998? You know, the one where I was dressed as a nurse and someone slipped something into my raspberry wine cooler? What a crazy night! I blacked out for two days and woke up in the backseat of Phil's old mustang, wearing nothing but a strategically placed stethoscope. I remember my parents thought I was a drug addict, so they withdrew me from Pre-Med studies and forced me into that six month that out-of-state rehab program.

Actually, you probably don't know about that, seeing as I have absolutely no recollection of you whatsoever. Regardless, seeing as we apparently had enough of a history together for you to add me as a friend, you will be happy to know I haven't drank since, and I even ended up graduating with a Certificate in Office Administration. Like they say, everything happens for a reason, and were it not for that night, I wouldn't have been able to work my way up to my current position as Head night-shift Secretary at the local 24-hour Medical Clinic.

Anyway, despite the fact I don't know who in the hell you are, its great to see you again. Your profile picture tells me that you are doing well, and I am sure you probably haven't changed a bit since I last saw you.

Keep in touch, Marty. Thanks to FB we have finally reconnected, and now we have no excuse for going another however-many-years-it-is-we-have-gone without contact.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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