The Easter Bunny has declared bankruptcy and wants all the little rug rats not to expect baskets full of toys, eggs and peeps instead they will get a small cardboard box with a letter in it which reads:
Dear kid, you will live a life of poverty and misery thanks to the corrupt people who don't give a shit. You will have great teeth though because there's no candy for YOU!
You know that fake grass I usually put in your bloated baskets.. well forget it Bernie Madoff has sent it all to an off-shore bank to cushion and protect all his jewels and gold. The Cadbury eggs are being melted down and shipped to the Playboy mansion for Heff to use on his latest bimbos.
So in closing I want to say.. that will teach you little animals for chomping down on my ears and letting me melt in the hot sun!
The Beaster Bunny