Written by Adam Click
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Tags: Pirates

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Barry And The Pirates: One man's Crusade Against The Scourge of The Sea! The good ship Nancy Pelosi steams towards port after another appeasement mission off the African coast.

Aboard the U.S. Destroyer Nancy Pelosi-A first hand account as told to this reporter by an unnamed eyewitness to one of the most daring sea rescues of all time:

"A lone figure leaned over the prow of the ship, his cutlass clinched between his teeth, his arms spread wide open. "I'm king of the world!" he shouted. "Get me another cutlass!" . The proud ship cut through the water like a Ginsu knife, it's intended target quickly coming into range.

"Surrender or prepare to be boarded!" he cried as they approached their target. Grim fear gripped the motley crew of pirates below. Too late, for their worst nightmare was about to come true. Barry Obama, boy president, swung on to the deck of the decrepit ship, dispatching two pirates with a single swipe and running his sword through a third.

"I surrender!" whimpered the fourth and last pirate, cowering at his feet, as Barry waved his sword above his head. "I surrender!". Barry took mercy on the miscreant and let him rise. The cowardly pirate turned and lunged at him with a knife. With barely enough time to react, Barry swiveled on his heels and with one broad stroke the hapless heathen was drawn and quartered.

"Huzzah! Huzzah!" came the cries from above. "Hurrah for Barry! Bain of all Pirates!". Ignoring the cheers, Barry raised his cutlass. "On to Mogadishu!" he shouted, "For Honor and Glory!"".

Adam Click is serving a six month sentence at the Navy brig in South Carolina.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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