Written by Leonardo Picasso
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Tags: China, Panda

Saturday, 11 April 2009

image for Panda slaughter in China continues unabated Panda stockpiles grow as world looks other way

What could they possibly need with so many pandas? Some claim that since the eradication of Falun Gong worshippers the Chinese black market for organs has been in a state of panic. It would seem that panda penises are in great demand, along with livers, kidneys and hearts.

In the senseless killing that has gone on unabated the curious funny bear is close to extinction. In a more recent development it has been revealed that recent shipments of cuddly toys where actually made of panda fur. Another aspect is the melamine milk that the female panda secretes is in great demand for foreign milk exports.

The Chinese government has created a special Panda Squad to find and bring the poachers to justice. However they have had little luck to date due to the level of corruption amongst regional officials. Meanwhile Panda lovers the world over are refusing to buy Chinese goods as a sign of protest and indignation in the governments slack jaw efforts. It is evident that common people recently let off from their jobs have resumed eating panda meat in order to survive. It is estimated that pandas at this rate could be extinct within the year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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