Written by bonzodog64
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Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Portsmouth man berated and crestfallen as discovery of Atlantis is overlooked: "I sent him out for m Atlantis: "Closer than we all thought", "I sent him out for teabags" claims wife

I got a bit sidetracked during a mundane shopping trip to Southsea and found myself on the pier for a bit of mackerel fishing. I get a bite and wind in the line only to discover a priceless, ancient Greek, bronze, artefact snagged on the end. Some sort of ceremonial vessel I think.

This goes on for about an hour; I cast off, a few minutes later I am gutted to find another Greek wonder dangling off my line. I won't be using rag worm any more. In future, I'm using squid for bait.

Eventually, I attract the attention of Les who does a bit of metal detecting on the side. He claims that the portion of Doric column I subsequently land offers conclusive proof for the existence of the fabled, Greek wonderland. Following some immediate cleaning and rubbing down, the fragment clearly displays the words, "Atlantis, two miles, please drive carefully"!

I was gobsmacked, Atlantis turns up under the Solent, you couldn't make it up!

Anyway, I rush back unable to contain my excitement as the gravity of my find, finally sinks in. Imagine my surprise and dismay when I am greeted with disdain and indifference as I failed to return with the groceries.

When I arrived, my wife said, "I sent him out for milk and bread, I entrusted him with a couple of mundane, routine shopping chores and he returns with priceless, Hellenistic artefacts from what was previously thought to be a mythical land.

"Last week I sent him out to get some light bulbs and he returned with the Ark of the Covenant that he claims to have found in a skip when he was driving to Tesco's.

"I said I don't care if it contains the presence, and holy ordinances of the living God. It's filthy, and it's not staying in the living room.

"Did you get the bulbs?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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