Written by Roy Turse
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Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Roy Turse refutes anarchist charge 'ang on Sarge, you said we 'ad to arrest all the criminals - well most of 'em are indoors

In a scathing article yesterday, Mr Skoob, the scourge of fleet street, levelled accusations at Roy Turse about his 'prediction' of G20 demonstrator damage, and suggested that he may have been involved in anarchistic activities. In the light of these allegations, several other writers have also turned on Roy, forcing him to issue the following statement:

It was an accident! By coincidence I was in Threadneedle Street yesterday delivering a new concrete slab to my brother-in-law who's a pavement artist outside the RBS building. Suddenly all these masked people arrived, pushing and shoving and in the melee the paving slab got knocked into the bank through the window. They were extremely apologetic and offered to go in and get my slab back for me, but some of them seemed to get confused and instead of coming out with the concrete slab brought out all sorts of computers and stuff. I think they may have written an apology to the bank on the wall inside.

Anyway, once the hoo-hah had died down and the police had ticked off the culprits with a good-natured clip round the ear using their steel batons, we all went and had a cup of tea.

Later Michele Obama told me that she had enjoyed her first day here, although she was a bit surprised that the Queen was a lot smaller in real life than on the TV. She said she was looking forward to some serious retail therapy once her old man had gone off to 'chat about all that money business', and that she'd seen a lovely cardigan on the Primark website.

"Luckily, America and England have arranged things so that the pound is worth almost no dollars", she said, "So I can afford to buy everything I want while I'm here."

Anyway, I hope this brings an end to the matter, and that we can now all get back to the responsible journalism for which TheSpoof.com is renowned.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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