'Hi, people, just thought I'd deliver my traditional April Fool's message to y'all. And here is the mess - Iraq. Heck, and Afghanimastan! The USA is using thousands of its soldiers to fight and die in the Middle East, for peace and democracy and for world safety.'
'April Fool!!! As if! Afghania equals opium, Iraq equals oils, why else would our dumb, useless Gis be doin' there? Teaching the natives to speak Enlandish?' Former President George H Bush started the April Fool jokes, when he paid CIA agent Saddam Hussein to invade Kuwait to give Americans an excuse to try and colonise the Middle East, but as Americans can't win wars it seems that the joke has backfired.
'You know', his son said, 'Ah was kinda wonderin' myself what American troops is a-doin' over there, but Tony Blair put me straight on that one. He told me: 'American troops are dying for Britain and for France, you moron, it ain't for America, and it ain't for peace and democracy. Only an inbred, alcoholic, brain-damaged baboon wouldn't have worked that out by now', and I still haven't worked out what he meant by that.'
'Anyhows, Ah'm a-gonna play another April Fool's joke, to get Americans to vote in a lying, insincere Democrat as President, just to show the world how weak the USA has become! Heck, I already did that! Bye!'
John Brown's body is a-turning in his grave, as the lies keep marching on ...