Written by Miko
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Wednesday, 1 April 2009

The World Gobbing Festival will go ahead as planned on 17/07/09. Below are the entry categories (beginners and foreign gentleman welcome by the way).

Cough and Gob Distance Contest:
Current UK record held by Maurice Heave of Chelmsford, 5.7 metres.

Consecutive Gobs over the Rugby Post:
Current UK record held by Mary Griffiths of Clwyd, North Wales. 57 Gobs of varying sizes and textures.

Murder a Pigeon With a single Gob in the Eye:
World Record Holder the Reverand Jacob Knackers, North England.

Straight Gob and Catch Back in the Mouth:
World Record Holder Ding Choi Ping, Ho Chi Min City, China.
86 straight back Gob catches with no regurgitations.

Most Disgusting Looking Gob:
UK Record Holder Malcolm Piffle MP for Cleethorpes.
15 spew-ups; 4 deaths and 2 faintings.

Most Attractive looking Gob:
UK Record Holder Samual Graves. His Gob was also voted "Most Edible" amongst Nigerian Diplomats and Parking Wardens of Leeds.

I've got to go I feel ill!

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