Written by Exislanda
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Sunday, 29 March 2009

image for Pirates of the Caribbean: Sticky Micky escapes Grand Turk Carabbean Cruise Port in flames.

CARIBBEAN CORRESPONDENT - UNDER FIRE, PROVIDENCIALES, FRIDAY:

Here in my dugout, with shells flying overhead, it is clear that the situation worsens by the hour.

In the confusion of the Haïtian invasion, Sticky Micky slipped his shackles and fled to the Spanish Main(land), leaving his Proagressive National Piracy franchise in the unsure hands of Gilly Willy.

As Dominican warships loom on the horizon and the British Fleet steams across the Atlantic, can we hold out?

A coalition resistance force of Belongers and Expats of the tiny island paradise united in barricades and trenches (dug by Haïtians) to stand steadfast against the invaders. Dominican irregulars joined with them against their united foe. Dominicanas provided comfort and relief to the embattled few.

Heavy casualties were reported from the Downtown area when the Haïtian 3rd Battalion, who landed on Sapodilla Bay in the south, met strong opposition from the Haïtian 5th Battalion who landed on North Side, Blue Hills.

News from other islands is somewhat sparse and unreliable:

  • East and Middle Caicos were quickly taken, but then nobody was home.
  • Tanks attempting to cross the causeway from Middle to North Caicos floundered as it sank beneath the waves.
  • Stalwart resistance has been reported on Grand Turk and South Caicos, but places to hide and fight are far and few as the islands still wear the scars of devastation by Hurricane Ike.

There are unconfirmed reports that a large contingent of paratroopers from the Czech Republic have landed on Salt Cay, laying claim that the island had been sold to them by Sticky Micky.

Canadian nationals have united and sectioned off the North West Point area of Provo for similar reasons.

Watch this Space.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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