They are our heroes.
They are the ones who have been leading us through the darkness into the light.
They are the gods that we look to for inspiration and survival.
They are the strong ones who protect us from the evils of the world.
No, they are not the Watchmen, the X-Men or Batman.
THE FINANCIAL SUPERHEROES!
Leaders of our society that have chosen a life of self-sacrifice and service so that we may have better financial well-being, these giants of industry are always here to watch out for the welfare of the common man and our nation as a whole.
BERNIE MADOFF - alias PONZI-MAN, a nimble witted man of elegance who will magically turn your thousands of dollars into millions seemingly out of nothing at all!
KEN LAY - alias ENRONTRON, a seemingly mild mannered man, yet has the capability to gut an company from within.
JACK ABRAMOFF - alias SUPER LOBBYIST, so shrewd he could lift the undies off his own grandma and she'd never notice.
LEONI HELMSLEY - alias TOTALLY SELF-ABSORBED WOMAN (also known as SUPER-BITCH). Every bit as extravagant, self centered and ruthless as Marie Antoinette.
DENNIS KOZLOWSKI - alias SHOWER CURTAIN MAN or THE TERRIBLE TYCO, master of paying exorbitant prices for mundane items of daily use.
DICK CHENEY - alias PRESIDENT VICE aka CORPORATE MOLE, by day an average, everyday Vice President of a major nation, but after hours he is the secret undercover agent for corporatism in the free world,... well, actually, anywhere there is money to be made.
ROBERT NARDELLI - alias HOME DEPOT-MAN; superior mental abilities enables him to run a company into the ground yet still get a bonus equal to the biannual pay of all the employees in all their stores.
Do not fear, all ye citizens of the free, capitalist lands, for as long as these men of moneyed mindedness are watching out for our financial affairs, we can sleep soundly knowing that we will be well taken care of.
Which is also what they tell sheep on the way to the slaughter house.