Written by matwil
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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Barack Obama makes speech on American rescue plan 'Get off, Obama! Heckle, heckle, heckle ,,,'

Here is the President's speech, made at the Alhambra Lincoln roadhouse in Washington DC:

'I have a dream, brothers and sisters, and Klansmen, I have - uhm mmm, baby - a dream that one day Bushes and Obamas can stand together, and make phoney speeches about things they know nothing about. I have a dream!'

And as an old lady burst into applause at this, he continued in a Messianic Luther King sort of way: 'I have a dream, y'all, that one day a President will actually stop talking baloney, waffle and - and let us not continue to continue to, we must now remind ourselves, keep wandering around the garden in subclauses - shrink economic planning into just saying - and we shall say this, brothers and sisters-in-law, yes we shall - 'things will be OK, trust us, it's that simple.' I have a daydream!'

The old lady's dog barked at this in appreciation, so he then said: 'Of course, it won't be easy turning an entire nation's economic plans and fiscal policies into some dumb catchphrse, but I'm gonna try anyway - 'I have a dream, and when you wish upon a star your dreams come ah-terroo; Mister Bluebird's sitting on mah shouldah, the Camptown ladies sing this song, doo dah, doo dah, ebony and ivory, side by side on my Alabammy banjo, in harmony, together' -'

'Get off!', the elderly woman shouted at the President, 'Dubya was funnier, you're a bunch of steamin' horseshit!', and Mr Obama's dreams were shattered.

Next week, the Prez explains quantum mechanics to the American voters in two minutes. In his dreams.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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