After days of extensive research, undercover reporting and hours of having my phone call held in a queue, I finally got some answers to the question on everyone's lips; How is Prince Williams girlfriend so rich?
The answer is relatively simple. The Middleton parents found love whilst on board flight BA4678, with her father sporting a rather dashing pinnie serving orange juice and champagne to the passengers onboard, her mother was the second in control Pilot.
After having there highs and lows, and married, they landed a modest house in Berkshire, where there breading commenced. At this stage, both adults thought it a good idea to stop the 'air game' and get a real job, and so they started a company supplying the contents of party bags to the middle to upper classes.
Now the secret as to how they made there money is here. Whilst they were sending there children to private schools, and getting into terrible financial problems, there plan started to pay off. They had been training there children in secret to be climbers, of the social ladder. They had now more friends between them than there are serving beside HRH William in the RAF, Navy and Army put together. A super army or the rich and irritating.
Now, at this stage it was time to put phase two of there plan into action. The parents started to sell more and more party bags and cupcakes (with the help of there some James, who is a bit of a dab hand with hundreds and thousands) to the parents of there children's friend, and in turn there own children would be at the parties where the bags were being distributed, thus making a circle. Questions were raised as to how they never had a delivery to there office, nor had bag packers. And when questioned Mrs. Middleton said 'Its very simple darling, fairy cakes are named after there makers, but we can't say anything more'. This I found hard to believe.
The truth is that they actually had there children spread at each party across southern England taking the party bags back to base and reselling them to another friend before they commit the scam again.
Recent reports have shown that they are also working on a wedding present company. So I speak for everyone when I say, 'William, be careful. Over and out'.