Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 21 March 2009

image for It's Geoff Boycott's Corridor of Uncertainty V Get One Of These You Prick!

We have had a letter from abroad. All the way from the Caribbean.

Dear Geoff

Ever since I was a kid I've struggled with maths. All the other children used to laugh at me in school. But I was real determined to prove them all wrong. I worked hard and eventually I got a really good job in the West Indies.

But disaster! I never knew that my job would involve solving equations and doing arithmetic. So I have gone and fucked up. Big time. Have you any advice for how to improve my maths?

Yours

Johnny D

Well Johnny, I learned how to count while at the crease. I would count up to five and then run. Then I'd do it again. And again. In fact I'd try to do it all day long.

This used to amaze some, but most were just jealous. It were not easy being the saviour of Yorkshire an' England.

Do you have a calculator? Solar batteries will be no use for day/night matches. If you make any more big gaffes you will be out of that lovely job. You may end up workin' here in England. The standard of education here is shite!

Thanks lad. Ok keep sendin' them down my corridor.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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