Dress him up like a woman and shove him in the Red Wings locker room.
Make him wear sexy red underwear and pose for Fredericks of Hollywood.
Force him to do Porky Pig voice over at the end of the Warner Brother's cartoons that say "Th..th..that's
Make him sing over and over "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner!"
Give him a suppository designed by Vlad the Impaler.
Give him a line of cocaine that is actually anthrax.
Tie him to a tree, inject him with heroin from Afghani poppies, then tell him that the tree is going to eat him.
Have him engage in a one-on-one Jihad with Mike Tyson.
He will only be allowed to marry only one woman and that is Janet Reno.
Must be baptized in Catholic Church in a vat of Serbian red wine.
Will be given over to Israeli Rabbi's for one of their 'special' circumcisions.
Has to reprise the Ned Beatty role in the movie 'Deliverance' where he has to 'squeal like a pig' for one of the rednecks.
Have him play bobbing for apples in a 8 foot deep vat of wine with him IN the vat.
Give him the choice of breaking fast on Ramadan with either Mogan-David wine or pork rinds.
Has to play strip poker with four death rowers from Attica.
Has to carry the next Olympic torch from the North Pole- barefoot.
Must be crash test dummy for new line of Humvees.
Send him to Iraq to defuse road side bombs wearing oven mitts.