Hello, and welcome back to my corridor of uncertainty. This week I've received a very interesting letter from a chap who seems to be in a right mess.
Dear Mr Boycott,
I've always been a big fan of yours (CREEP) and now I think I need your help. It seems that I've got into a bit of a financial mess. I don't know where to turn to. It's not really my fault, but my friend Gordon says I will have to take the blame. And he's bigger than me. He used to play rugby you know! So what do I do? Please help me.
Yours in desperation,
Well lad you seem proper fucked to me! This Gordon is a bully. Stand up to bullies. I used to stand up to them all the time. Apart from when Dennis Lillee, Jeff Thompson, Andy Roberts and so on were at the height of their powers. Then I went and hid. See I'm not daft.
But enough. Go to Gordon and say that it's time to declare. Put the other team in. Get the spinners on. Anything to break the spell. Remember if you bat on too long you will have no time to bowl other side out. And tell Gordon from me that rugby is a cissies game. Me mother could have played it in her pinny.