I was having a pint with my mate Bob, when he showed me a contract, signed by Mrs Obama and Bob White Painters Inc to paint the White House black. He said Mrs Obama had thought it only fair, as the last bloke who painted it was called Fred Black.
She explained that it was necessary to paint the house because she had been scrubbing for thee days but had been unable to get rid of all the excrement left by the previous occupants, especially the white stuff left by Monica Lewinsky. She had considered red, but Barrack thought that might be construed as supporting China, so black was eventually chosen, on the advice of Bob White. He said "I think it gave a better impression of the likely future of America".
White explained that thousands of gallons of paint and tens of thousands of workers would be needed to disguise the disgusting mess, so the price of $89 billion was considered reasonable. Barrack said it was far better value for money than the bankers had asked for to clean up their mess, especially as he felt he could trust Bob more than anyone else he had spoken to in the last month. He said "Bob White Painters Inc has been in business all week, without borrowing anything from anyone, and all the bills have been paid. This is now unique amongst all painting businesses in America".
Obama was very pleased when Bob arrived ready for work, only seventeen minutes after being awarded the contract. Bob said "I want to get started before the agreement is changed, like everything else the new president has said". He was very concerned that the landlord might not be able to pay the full amount on time, but was satisfied with the $39 billion deposit that had been paid in cash. He said that would pay for the lower half of the house, which was as far as his step ladders would reach anyway.
He was particularly impressed by Obama's command of dialects demonstrated when the dustbin man called and said "Where's your bin" to which Barrack replied "Assa bin upstairs - where's you bin"
Bob was particularly keen to get on with the mural of a black butterfly in a coal hole, as he said this was sure to be popular with press photographers, because they could use cheaper film.