$100 for Snuggie for Senator Byrd.
$2,000 for four cases of Beano for Senator McCain if he'll stop saying, "I just blew you a kiss."
$200,000 to keep Cindy Sheehan camped outside Bush ranch.
$1,000,000 for Jeremiah Wright to shut his yap about America's chickens coming to roost.
$150 for new basketball goal set up in White House basement.
$20,000 to provide Senator Craig his own private bathroom.
$200 for Obama's mother-in-law's special hemorrhoid cushion.
One Billion Dollars for "Petty Cash" during overseas fact-finding trips.
$100,000 refill Bill Clinton's secret escape tunnel below the White House.
$10,000 for bolt to go through John Kerry's neck to hold huge head upright.
$100,000,000 to purchase embarrassing photos like one of American hero Michael Phelps trying to swim across shower floor.
$20,000 for extra skin so Pelosi can blink her eyes after all those botox treatments.
$75 for corn plaster for Senator Byrd.
$12 to Barack Obama's brother's to double his regular year's earnings.
$15,000 for long line in sand so Florida voters can either step across or stay on other side, to cast vote from now on.