Written by Jeff Brone
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Wednesday, 25 February 2009

We're all watching our spending lately, so here's some tips on saving cash from The Spoof's money expert.

1. Save on your water bill by not flushing your toilet after every time you use it. Also, don't use it.

2. You can also save water by taking baths instead of showers. Then, when your skin gets all wrinkly, cash in on those "senior discounts."

3. Find out which bars have free food during happy hour then go there, get really drunk, get someone to drive you home, and save money on gas!

4. Watch PBS but when they ask for donations, just change the channel. Stupid hippies.

5. When I was a kid, we didn't have fancy video games. We just had an Etch-A- Sketch and look how I turned out.

6. Eating out can be expensive and drinks cost the most. Have a drink after you get home from the restaurant. Eat then too or better yet, before you even go.

7. Macdonald's throws away lots of food they don't sell. A garbage bag full of fries is an instant party!

8. Cable TV is the devil's work. Just listen to the radio, and not anything that angers up the blood.

9. Lots of people cut their kid's hair so if you don't mind your kids looking stupid, you can save $80 a year.

10. Sometimes a thoughtful, homemade gift is best. Same goes for caskets.

11. Who says you need a costly wedding cake? How about "wedding gum" or "wedding Skittles"?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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