Written by Earl Grey
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Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for Jade Goody - An Apology Jade on her wedding night

I would like to apologise to Jade goody. In the past she has been made to look a thick, useless, talentless, fat slapper with a foul mouth and racist tendencies. I now know that I was wrong.

Jade is in fact Jesus, Mary, the Prophet Mohammad, Buddha, Mother Theresa and all the saints rolled into one. I was blind to her talents. But now that she is going to die we see her to be wonderful. I would like to thank Clax Mifford for pointing this out to me (for the usual 20%).

Saint Jade (likely to be announced soon by the Pope) has touched all our hearts and has united the nation. We will never see her like again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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