Written by eliudgonzaleznunez
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Monday, 16 February 2009

image for Overheard Recently At The United Nations Uninformed Sitizens of America

At a recent confab session at The United Nations Security Council's main assembly hall, a microphone was inadvertently left open and captured the following exchange between several representatives of foreign countries:

"The truest thing that can be said of any two Americans is that one will have nothing to say and the other one will hang on every word."

"Oh, mes amis, no, no, no, zee truest thing that can be said of any two Americans is that zee one will talk incessantly and zee other one will interrupt every second word, alors."

"Enchiladas frita', all I have to say is that when America finally comes to an end, it will be the end of an error, si, si, si."

"Allah knows well that America thinks it's the most heroic country in the world because it can't tell the difference between loud bravado and quiet courage."

"Ah so, dingy dau, America has neither courage nor bravery nor guts - despite these drawbacks it thinks it's the most heroic country in the world."

"An American's home is where any other pig's sty is."

"Bloody true, but let's add a slight correction to that, an American's home is where another pig's sty is."

"Cuchifrito, si si si, an American's at home in any other pig's sty"

"Bloody well said, between man and monkey there is only one distinction, the American."

"Oh, mon ami, a very slight correction must be made, alors, like zis, between zee man and zee monkey there is only zee one thing missing, zee American."

"Ah so, is true, Americans are a modest people with way too much to be modest about."

"Que cosa, no no, Americans are an immodest people with way too little to be immodest about, si, eh?."

"Bloody true, being verbally attacked by Americans is like being punched by a bunch of creampuffs."

"True, very true, but more true is that being verbally attacked by Americans is like being written up by a bunch of illiterates."

"Si, being verbally attacked by Americans is like having your portrait painted by a kindergarten class."

At this point in that recent confab session at The United Nations Security Council's main assembly hall, Little Antonio appeared and noticed that a microphone had been inadvertently left open, and Little Antonio took the opportunity to grab that microphone and burst into song.

Holding the microphone closely to his mouth, Little Antonio sang, "Cara mia, is'a so good to look'a you in'a you face, I'm'a no look'a nobody in'a the face like'a I look'a you in'a you face, I'm'a promise'a you, cara mia, I no gonna look'a nobody in'a the face like I'm'a look'a you in'a you face, because I'm'a like'a you face so much, cara mia, is'a maybe because I'm'a grow so acostumbrado to'a you face".

Little Antonio's song was not merely threatening to become interminably long here, but it was also now clanging very loudly throughout that recent confab session at The United Nations Security Council's main assembly hall, so that the several representatives of those foreign countries realized that the microphone was not just broadcasting Little Antonio's happy song, but had also probably broadcast their whispered confab to anyone that may have been around to listen to them.

Conferring madly and quickly while Little Antonio sang, the several representatives of the foreign countries decided that their best option was to join Little Antonio in his impromptu song fest.

Immediately attendant upon that decision, the several representatives of the foreign countries, using their multifariously accented voices became Little Antonio's impromptu backup group for the next hour or so.

Sometime during the first half hour of that hour or so, and while The United Nations Security Council's main assembly hall was still ringing loudly to the tune of "Cara mia, is'a you face I'm'a look'a into", the American President and his retinue walked in and smiled joyfully in happy courteousness at the impromptu singing group.

At which point, not wishing to be outdone by a bunch of happy go lucky foreigners, the American President burst into a happy dancing jig, clapping his hands to the beat of "Cara mia, if'a you face look'a bet'a tomorrow, I'm'a die from'a burst'a heart".

Lamentably, while the American President was happily dancing, Little Antonio stopped singing and left, muttering to himself, "Maron, if'a you no can'a dance, why you got'a move? - you should'a no move like'a that".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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