Written by ChrisAshby13
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Tags: Free, Money

Sunday, 8 February 2009

image for Quick! Free Money! This won't cost you shit

Wow, Jesus, this is headline news for sure. Did you know that, after one SIMPLE PAYMENT to an online conglomerate, you can earn THOUSANDS? Why didn't anyone else know? Why aren't you all RICH?

Apparently by sending one LITTLE CHEQUE to cover administration costs, you can receive £14,000 every single week. More than a CHAMPIONSHIP GOALKEEPER. This is AMAZING.

The whole economy will be drastically revived once this news gets out - no more exploitative jobs, no more inequality, no more NIGGLING COMMUNIST SYMPATISERS, just wealthy Internet businessmen, earning THOUSANDS by doing NOTHING.

Seriously, why don't more people know? This scheme has to be the BEST IDEA EVER, because EVERYONE WINS. The subscriber earns more than a goddamn executive, and the company...hold on, what do they earn? Wait - they can only be philanthropists! Dealing out money from the bank of kindness. What wonderful people.

I'm just going to sit on my arse and accumulate capital for the next few months. By summer I should have enough for a bigass house. Well, if they hurry up with the money, that is. They still haven't responded; the post's pretty slow at the moment I suppose.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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