You thought this was going to be a vegetarian article didn't you?
Well, in my opinion, all vegetarians should be shot.
With a high calibre gun.
So here's a carnivore's guide:
1 - Fillet steak with chips and salad. Cooked medium rare. Get out of that one then veggies.
2 - The humble bacon butty - allegedly the one thing that veggies miss the most. Lovely fresh bread, sizzling bacon.
Mmmm you can smell it can't you? You can. I know you can. And I know that this has got you salivating already. Go on, admit it...
3 - Mrs Skoob's roast lamb.
Leg of lamb with roast potatoes, parsnips, runner beans and mint sauce. C'mon veggies, you're starting to crack, admit it.
4 - Fish and Chips, choice flaky cod accompanied by proper chips deep fried in beef dripping. With salt and malted vinegar.
5 - Rogan Josh lamb curry - succulent cuts of prime lamb, seasoned, marinated and cooked for five hours so that it melts in the mouth. With lashings of paprika. Mmmm lovely!
6 - Mrs Skoob's roast beef - cooked to perfection with all th trimmings. Jamie Oliver, eat your heart out, you'll never be this good.
7 - A doner kebab, cooked by a certain Mr Ali Bullo, or failing that, Joe from Basingstoke. Succulent lamb, fresh salad, and 'head off' chilli sauce.
8 - English beef mushroom, by me. A cracking combination. Stewed quality cuts of beef with locally sourced mushrooms, carrots and boiled potatoes.
9 - Roast chicken, but it has to be proper chicken, otherwise it doesn't work. That cheap watery Tesco crap doesn't cut the mustard.
10 - Black Pudding - yeah so it's made of blood, but you don't fry it in slices, you boil it whole, then you serve it up with English mustard, malt vinegar and a fork.
If you're still a vegetarian after reading this then you're clearly demented.
Me, I'm getting a little peckish...