Written by Boone Adams
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Thursday, 1 July 2004

image for Grass is not always greener Researchers study shades of green

After eleven years of exhaustive research and one hundred billion dollars , the Center for Totally Inane Studies concluded today that the grass is not always greener on the other side . Scientist and part time clog dancer, Emil Polk , stated that every possible scenario was played out to conclude these findings . "We looked from our yard to the neighbors yard , the neighbor's yard to our yard . We went as far as going to the yard across the street and looking at the two opposite yards and the grass was no greener ."
After the visual tests from a distance , the scientific crew of thirty eight hundred men , woman and one cross eyed ferret , took the samples from ten green lawns into the lab for further study .There the samples were matched against one another and then against all the green paint swatches from the Martha Stewart Colection and again , there was no grass greener than any other .
After the U.S. Senate and Congress heard the news , a collective sigh of relief was heard on their respective floors, aides reported .
"It was worth the money and effort , I would do it again" a sated Senator Ted Kennedy beamed as he left his office .
In a related story ,it does not always rain when you wash your car.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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