Written by Aspartame Boy

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Tags: methanol

Saturday, 24 January 2009

image for Misspelling Methanol Myths Hit me with another shot of methanol

LONDON, England - Defrocked Corporate Priest, Neurela U. Semen, clears up what's healthy and what's not.

"There's so many confusing headlines out there whenever you search the news on aspartame; some say you should be avoiding or afraid of it; it really has mixed up people rather than helped them eat a healthy diet," she said.

Myth: Good foods are healthier than bad foods. According to my brother's science project, this is simply not true. Besides, who is to say what is good? What is bad?

Myth: Methanol causes cancer. That's crap. The stuff kills germs 12 ways.

"Methanol Light certainly can be used, consumed in foods, in moderate amounts," Neurela said.

Myth: Agent Orange is bad. Why would anyone make it if it was bad? Also, how could they SELL it if it was bad? Really, some people are so paranoid.

Myth: gasoline is bad for your stomach. Moderate use of gasoline is actually wise for your stomach.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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