Written by Illusnist

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Tags: Love, Pain

Thursday, 22 January 2009

The question of whether a person loves us or not is as old as civilization, and probably even older. But for all that being around for thousands of years, it remains one of the most difficult things to ascertain in our daily lives.

Margaret Foley has published a new book, "Examining the Emotions," which finally tells us how to recognize love as the real thing, using nothing more elaborate than kitchen utensils.

How is it done? Let's take a look at a short excerpt from Chapter Two:

"Begin with toothpicks under the fingernails, and slowly work your way into bliss with sharp knives, boiling fluids, and even frozen foods. If a person truly loves you, not even the loss of several pints of blood, or the removal of vital organs can turn that love away, which makes this proofing technique priceless."

For many of us, this seems a brutish method to use to find out if we are truly loved, but Ms. Foley, who has never found that true love despite years of testing, insists "Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind, in the right measure."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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