Written by Rob Barratt

Print this

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Turbine NIMBY Turbine NIMBY

Turbine NIMBY by Rob Barratt (A song to the tune of "I'm a Lumberjack" or "Three Drunken Maidens" or make up a tune of your own.

I've got a ten foot Sony plasma screen
Lights on all over the house
A flash Toshiba microwave
A computer with a mouse

I've got loads of electrical appliances
But though I'm not one to whine
I want it all and I want it now
But I don't want a wind turbine

I've got a home chock-full of the best white stuff
I really don't mean to boast
I've got CCTV cameras
And a toaster that toasts my toast

I've got two robotic garage doors
And security lights that shine
I've got everything you can plug in
But I don't want a wind turbine

'Cos I'm a turbine NIMBY
And life is oh so hard
Stick your turbine where the sun don't shine
But not in my backyard

I've got a new Zanussi washing machine
That's the answer to all my prayers
And a genuine Alpine ski-lift
To help me up the stairs

I've got an electronic corkscrew
To open my bottles of wine
I want all the supplies that are advertised
But I don't want a wind turbine

I think I'll form an action group
And 'phone the local press
We'll have ourselves a meeting
And there we will confess

That nuclear waste is to our taste
And fossil fuels are fine
And although they're quiet and graceful
We don't want a wind turbine


You'll see me on the front page
As I get into my stride
I'll say wind turbines scare the sheep
And spoil the countryside

I'll go on telly and complain
With a big "No Turbines" sign
I want my electricity
But I don't want a wind turbine

No, I don't want a wind turbine
I don't want a big wind farm
And although they're inoffensive
And don't do you any harm

I'll make a stand throughout the land
To prevent this heinous crime
I want oil and coal and uranium
But I don't want a wind turbine


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


43 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more