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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for AssFrFred: What is the Traditional Family the Pope Loves So Much? Novecentenario rides his bike twenty miles a day a mile high

Dear AssFF44giveness,

I am a 90 year old Mexican Catholic who was watching the Pope on a video screen when he broadcast his message from the Vatican since he feared that the altitude in Mexico City was harmful to the health of an older man. He praised the traditional family but never elaborated as to what that means.

I grew up in a very traditional Mexican family where my father beat the shit out of my mother every time she opened her mouth. One time she called the cops and the priest and both of them told her she had to work harder at making him happy. My hermanos and I still have the bruises to show from my father's authoritarian outbursts and drunken attacks.

When my sister chose to marry for love he dragged her by the hair through the zocaslo and has not spoken to her since. When my brother, felipe, moved to Monterrey to live with his male friend my father broke down their door and shot the two of them in the ass with his shotgun. They were picking buckshot out of each others coolos for weeks.

Do you think this is what the Pope meant by a traditional family?

Novecentenario who breathes fine a mile high

Dear NWBFMH,

Yeah, pretty much...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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