Tired of seeing his face every day first thing in the morning?
Tired of hearing her nag and scream in a shrill voice every time she catches you masturbating into her sock drawer to pictures of Paris Hilton?
Is every waking moment for each of you pure torture?
Do you fantasize about flipping out and smothering your partner in his/her sleep because you just can't take any more of his/her bullshit?
Then say "I love you" with a gift you know each of you want: divorce papers. It's the perfect gift - a gift for both of you!
Why waste all your hard earned money on jewellery she'll only wear to impress whoever she's cheating on you with? Why waste money on a cordless power drill that he'll never use being that he's as handy as a paraplegic on PCP? Instead, for the low, low price of whatever your solicitor charges, you can end the living hell that is your marriage!
Do it now.