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Saturday, 3 January 2009

image for WallyMart Closes Down 15 More Competitors WallyMart's Next Target, Local Farmer's Markets

A spokesman for WallyMart announced today that they have succeeded in closing down 15 more of it's competitors in the food store line along with 204 other small stores in 2008.

The 15 chain food stores that went belly-up last year were:

Mom & Pups

Ned Beatty's Piggly Wiggly

Name It, Claim It, For A Buck

Salvage R Us


Hannibal's Sushi Bargains

Ron's Meat Beater's ("You can't beat Ron's meat")

Porkers A-Plenty

Larry's Lost Labels Discount

Everything Here Tastes Like Chicken

Palin's Shoot Your Own While It's Fresh

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Shorts, No Shit

Uncle Ben's Bent Cans

S-Mart's Smart Mart

Big Hairy's Foodline With World Famous All-You-Can-Eat For $2.50, Buffet Sopping Bar. Featuring Over 20 Different Sops.

According to the spokesman, most of these are now Bingo Parlors with Saturday Night Auctions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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