Written by Aspartame Boy

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Thursday, 1 January 2009

image for It's that Time of Year Again Cause of death, heart just stopped. No crime here. Let's stop for a diet orange soda, and a dozen doughnuts.

EVERYWHERE, Earth - It's that time of year again, when we have to get together with family members who are even smellier and older than we remembered from last year.

What to do? Feel like baking a cake? A pie? Cookies? Are you kidding! This is getting old, this bit.

Thanks to the wonders of modern science and chemistry, it is now possible to entertain AND hasten the death of those you despise.

Yes friends, thanks to the drug companies for discovering a substance 180 times sweeter than sugar, and thousands of times more toxic!

So, just bring a bottle of diet orange soda with you when you visit those stinking relatives. Hey, bring a case! Chances are next year, you won't have to bother!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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