Written by Mark Garrison
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Thursday, 1 January 2009

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Travel Alert
United States Department of State
Bureau of Republican Affairs
Washington, DC

This information is current as of today.

Washington D.C. - This Travel Alert is being issued to alert Washington D.C. Republicans to the fact that non-emergency employees and family members have been authorized and encouraged to have a back up vocational plan. This Travel Alert also warns all U.S. Republican politicians to the ongoing safety and security concerns in expanding democracy loving areas. It supersedes all previously issued Travel Alerts.

On November 4, 2008, the U.S. Senate, House of Representatives, and White House were attacked by Democrats using electronic voting devices, unfortunate facts, and inconvenient honesty.

Thankfully, the White House perimeter has not yet been extensively breached, however, it is anticipated that this will occur in January.

This attack underscores the presence of Democratic freedom fighters and their organizations in America that have the ability and intent to target long time Republican interests. The White House is working with D.C. authorities to address the security issues raised by this takeover.

U.S. Republicans who remain in or travel to Washington D.C. despite this Travel Alert are encouraged to tune to the Fox News Channel to obtain updated information on travel and security in Washington D.C.. Republicans in Senate and Congress should exercise caution and take prudent measures to maintain their livelihoods. These measures include being aware of their filibuster power and avoiding crowds of Democrats.

U.S. Republican personnel remain available to provide emergency information and services.

American citizens may register with the Republican Embassy online.

Additional information may be found on the Department of State Republican Bureau website.

Updated information on travel and security may be obtained from the Department of State Republican Bureau.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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