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Friday, 19 December 2008

image for Scientists Disprove Popular Myths Yes Virginia There really are about a trillion santas

Is having a hat on conserving body heat? Most hat wearing people surveyed said yes. But the scientists who studied the matter insist that the release of methane from the anus is a much more predominant loss of heat. forget the stocking cap and the fedora and cut out the frijoles or stick in some anal beads.

Sugar sure got to be the reason for the riled up child...No, declare scientists who have discovered that neglectful parents and boring teachers are the true cause of hyperactivity in children.

Nocturnal munchies cause obesity? Toke another one, Jack! Night snackers tend to be all day suckers and so... the reason they are fat is that they eat al the day long into the night!

Every ancient and modern hangover cure have been studied by our scientific team whom dutifully got shitfaced night after night in order to test the long list of hangover helpers. The scientific results reported that the only true cure for a toxic overdose of ethyl alcohol is moderate consumption.

And in case you want the fine points of the scientific study, pointsettias are not poisonous and there are no more suicides during the holidat season than unholy times of the year. A footnote in the journal article did report that the Christmas holiday season did make a significant number of people so sick that they did consume enough pointsettias to choke themselves to death.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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