Written by Rusty
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

image for English Definitions for the Dyslexic

Warning: American readers may require the services of a translator!

Antelope (v): to run off with your mother's sister.

Assassination (n): an arrangement to meet a donkey.

Baptist (n): a junior hamburger chef.

Basket (n): a short nap in the sun.

Circumstantial (n): circumcision on a really big baby.

Collonade (n): fizzy enema.

Defence (n): something to sit on for people who can't make up their minds.

Diarrhoea (n) a very unattractive bottom.

Dictator (n): hilariously shaped, edible tuber.

Dipthong (v): to wash a lady's undergarment.

Diversion (n): Princess of Wales' version of the events that led to her divorce.

Dumpling (n): small lump of excrement.

Gastronome (n): small person prone to excess wind.

Harbinger (n): hard drinker.

Hatchet (n): small, bird droppings that fall from the sky.

Headband (n): top of the bill at a rock concert.

Hormone (n): the sound a prostitute makes when she's not been paid.

Hobnob (n): cooking accident often suffered by nudists.

Homophobe (n): strong dislike of The Simpsons.

Honeydew (n: women who regularly arrive late for appointments.

Induction (n): induced labour in a duck.

Innuendo (n): Italian suppository.

Intercontinental (n): person who has wet themselves all over the world.

Labiate (v): perform cunnilingus.

Laminate (v): to artificially inseminate a sheep.

Limpet (n): male who has trouble getting an erection.

Lobster (n): colloquial term for a female who ejaculates during orgasm.

Mantrap (n): sexual favour used by women to obtain money from men.

Mastiff (n): mass erections induced by watching pornography.

Menopause (n): break in conversation to allow men to get a word in edgeways

Minjita (n) (slang): an Indian lesbian

Misfit (n): an attractive young woman

Mislay (n): a brazen or promiscuous young woman.

Morbific (n): excessively violent

Multilingual (n): Engaging in cunnilingus with multiple partners.

Negligent (n): cross-dresser.

Ostentatious: Make and model of a pre-war British luxury car.

Outage (n): process of exposing a Gay politician.

Papier mache (v) : Father's had an accident.

Propaganda (n): a wooden support for one-legged male geese.

Rapscallion (n): Black, American spring onion.

Rectitude (n): Precise angle at which a rectal thermometer should be inserted.

Reflex (v): renew wiring to an electrical appliance.

Restitution (n): sanatorium for lactating women

Skullduggery (n): archaeological excavation.

Snuff box (n): slang term for a coffin.

Spade (n): Small surgical tool for removing ovaries.

Testator (n): a male who is constantly adjusting his genitalia

Titillate (n): delayed onset of female puberty

Titular (n & adj): Busty woman

Vagrant: (n): confused insect

Willy-nilly (n): male who continually catches their penis in their zipper.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

59 readers are online right now!

Go to top