Written by Pointer
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

image for AssFrFred44Giveness:Does the Vatican Really Keep Track of the Most Beautiful Pics of IL Papa!? Pope wrapped in a condom

Dear AssFF$$G, I was reading L'Osservatore Romano late one night after my porn subscription ran out( any advice?) and I noticed that the Vatican's official organ has a feature called : The Most Beautiful Pictures of the Pope. I fuck with thee not!

Do you know what criteria is used to decide the papal beautifulness?

Just Wondering

Dear JW,

As to your first somewhat subtle query( I knew a somewhat subtle qweery in LA years ago and let me tell you appearances can be deceiving!). When my subscription runs out to essential theological and spiritual viewing matter, I have been known to rob the poor box and steal tuition money to get to the good stuff!

While in Rome years ago on a well deserved sabbatical/ on the lamb from the law, I did spend some time with the MBPP brethren. These aesthesticians have a very high standard for choosing the most beautiful pictures of the Pope. I will give you some clues:

They love the big climax during the demanding pronouncement. I will never forget how the committee nearly wet themselves over the denunciation of homosexuals. The cacophonous squeals of " He's mentioning us!" was enough to drown out the choir triumphant!They are big on the paternal gaze when it avoids effeminacy. Kissing children used to be hot until you know what, now it's the Catholic haters who squirrel out the child friendly papal smooches.

The Papal bubble is still a winner and blessing gestures and adoring crowds are a sure MBPP pic of the week.Maybe some day we can get back to the uncensored beautiful papal pictures with children, animals and seminarians. Groveling shots were always a big turn on for me...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

78 readers are online right now!

Go to top