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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

image for Bush's Last Presidential Interview

Earlier this week, this writer had a chance to sit down with U.S. President George W Bush for what would be his last media interview as President. Bush talks on a variety of topics - from family issues to being in the public eye for eight straight years. Here's what he had to say:

[ADA] = Alejandro Juan-Abdullah, the reporter conducting the interview.

[GWB] = U.S. President George W. Bush

[ADA]
Thank you for allowing me to conduct this interview with you today, Mr. President.

[GWB]
It's my pleasure, Mr. Abdullah. Is that your real last name? It sounds like it should be on the federal watch list.

[ADA]
Yes, it is. Mr. President, many people have said you've single-handedly destroyed this country's reputation and economy. Recent popularity polls show your popularity across all demographics is in the low teen's. How does this make you feel?

[GWB]
Honestly, I feel great. I mean it - I really do. Shit, two more months and I can go back to my Crawford ranch and harvest my coca plants [sniff]! Plus, I can begin writing my memoirs.

[ADA]
That's, umm...quite interesting. What do you plan to write about in your memoirs? Mostly presidential memories, I'm assuming?

[GWB]
Actually, no. You see, I don't really have many presidential memories. Cheney did most of the work. I just kinda' laid low, you know? Made a few speeches when my buddies got out of control, went to a lot of keg parties...I even had a threesome with Cheney's daughter and her girlfriend! In fact, that was why I couldn't respond to Katrina immediately! Shit, you shoulda' seen the Lincoln Bedroom - when we were through it looked worse than New Orleans...plus, my own levee broke, if you catch my drift.

[ADA]
Okay, I think I heard a little more than I needed to. Mr. President, if you could sum up your presidency in one sentence, what would it be?

[GWB]
You got any coke?

[ADA]
No.

[GWB]
You got any beer?

[ADA]
No, sorry.

[GWB]
Fuck it then. This interview is over. Square.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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