Written by Chad Peace
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Friday, 14 November 2008

image for California: A Roller Coaster Ride for Gay Chickens

California's gay chickens were shocked with mix emotions last Tuesday in California. Early in the night, gay chickens all over the state were ecstatic as the results came in over Proposition 2, which would require that California's farmers allow chickens the right to a comfortable living space.

Coronal Sanders sat in the back of Proposition 2 headquarters, happy that his chickens would grow up with the freedom to be all the chicken they could be, yet worried about the future of his $.99 snacker. He knew people would appreciate the tastiness of a free chicken, but couldn't get over the realistic notion that his customers would never pay to know what they would be missing. Never-the-less, a fellow by the name of Extra Crispy could care less.

In an exclusive interview, Extra Crispy said, "I've never wanted to have more chicks in my life. Imagine the kind of chicks I can produce now."

A happy day for chickens indeed. Or was it?

I couldn't help but notice the baked chicken on the other side of the room. He was emanating a more somber aura. Being an independent journalist, I had to get to the bottom of this.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to answer the question. But he voiced my premonitions for me anyways, "How do you celebrate the freedom to move, while losing the freedom to love?"
And that's when it hit me. He was a gay chicken, and Proposition 8 was about to pass, a proposition that would define marriage as only between a male and a female.

"We live in the freest state in the freest country in the world. I never thought the day would come that I could do a 360, or stay in a cage without having to deal with my neighbors crap. Yet, with more freedom comes the anticipation of more freedom."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, I thought, now that I can move, what else can I do? I could choose my own direction, my own future, and my own destiny. I was full with hope. Hope for the future of my dreams. I thought I could live whatever life I wanted to lead, but I can't."

"I'm sorry for your loss chicken," I comforted.

"It is ok sir. Life is a roller coaster ride. And I'm a seasoned chicken sir. I've been through a lot. I am happy that our chicks can grow up in a world where they can spread their wings. And I am hopeful, that one day, all chickens will be able to spread their love."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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