Written by Rob Barratt
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Sunday, 16 November 2008

So politicians now admit
That as students they smoked some …drugs

In history, I think you'll find
That others have been so inclined

The following may not be true
If named offenders wish to sue

'Cos everyone's tried marijuana
From Genghis Khan to Wayne Fontana (and The Mindbenders)

William the Conqueror stubbed out a roach
As Hastings shore he did approach

The Mona Lisa's smile is due
To dope she smoked from Katmandhu

Queen Victoria was not insane
When she used hemp for period pain

(Relief of royal menstrual tension
Is surely worth a little mention)

And it is rumoured that Sir Cliff
Enjoys a pre-performance spliff

He rarely can get through a song
Without inhaling on a bong

Tommy Cooper's cannabis resin
Stayed in a box he kept his fez in

And Lester Piggott rolled a joint
As on he rode from point-to-point

And Rupolph Nureyev's pirouettes
Were fuelled by herbal cigarettes

And Pele, he preferred to pass
On astroturf, if offered grass

Bill Clinton liked to smoke some hash
While Monica lit up his stash

The two of them would get quite mellow
He was a most obliging fellow

And did you know George W B
Partakes of skunk each day at three?

This could explain that inane grin
And never knowing what country he's in

Who would have thought that old John Reed
Was partial to a bit of weed

So tell me, why the big surprise
When governments hit lows and highs

To find they are just normal folk
Who could not once resist a toke

So when the next White Paper comes out,
It'll be a Rizzla, I've no doubt.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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