Written by rfreed

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Friday, 7 November 2008

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Newsdate, Year 2024 - Most political analysts look upon the 2012 Obama-Palin campaign as the start of the anarchy that now besets us. Originally known as the second Obama-McCain campaign, Palin soon eclipsed her boss in popularity as was well-remembered by the 98% female majority in the House and Senate that is now disbanded.

McCain's mysterious demise two days into his Presidency started the path of female dominance. It had long been believed that women in leadership positions would lead to a more peaceful world. Unfortunately, as Ms. Palin's regency proved, it turned even more violent when hordes of Alaskans, expertly adept from years of hunting moose and wolves, stormed the Siberian peninsula slaughtering their way to Moscow where they gutted and skinned Putin.

The 2016 election pitted Palin against Hillary Clinton. The campaign started out peacefully until the time of the debate which turned into an eye-scratching, hair-pulling free-for-all before the cameras. It was noted that after this experience Palin stopped wearing her glasses and "sexy-librarian" hairstyle, opting for more combat-effective contacts and a buzz cut. Ads got particularly nasty with slogans such as "Librarian Lesbo", "Arkansas Harpy", Alaskanly Frigid Inside and Out" and "Pimping the Presidency" being thrown around. Hillary's running mate, Madonna, seemed especially suited to this sort of fight. Palin's running mate, Arnold Schwartzenegger, would have been better had it not been for Palin's insistence that he be neutered, making his accent even more funny.

Hillary's win brought a new era as she earned her title of the "Ice Queen" by first having loser Palin guillotined. Her reign saw an unusual rise in the number of men getting vasectomies and becoming gay.

The 2020 campaign got even nastier. Hillary was mysteriously assassinated during the primaries by a Men's Liberation group associated with poet Robert Bly. Daughter Chelsea stepped up to fill her shoes and was publicly devoured by Mary Cheney. Mary, having been marshaled in the Dark Arts by her father Sith Lord Dick Cheney, used every evil imaginable to run things.

Men, for years barred from politics, are now being hunted and used for food. I, in writing this, risk being caught a...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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