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Friday, 7 November 2008

I have a weird, unusual, condition. I continually get stuck sneezes. I get the urge to sneeze. I go AHHH but the Choo will not come. This has been happening almost everyday for about the last four years . I do occasionally complete a sneeze. It seems I finally sneeze just about the time I am totally out of my mind from not being able to do so.

This all started one day when a friend who was talking to me saw me go AHHH. She smiled and said "now go Choo". I concentrated on what she said, got distracted, and lost the sneeze urge. I immediately got self conscious about sneezing because I am so neurotic and suggestible and started focusing on sneezing and obsessing about it all the time. Ever since then my sneezing has been abnormal.

I have researched this problem for hundreds of hours. No good answers. I have found a very rare condition named "asneezia" that unsatisfactorily explains my problem. I am sure this condition is psychological. However, I have not sneezed even once in the last 5 weeks now and I am miserable. I keep careful track of all my sneezes. How fun!!!

Also, I have only sneezed a total of about 8 times in the last eight months and maybe 40 times in the last four years. I get the urge to but then I cannot release the sneeze. It is like a failed orgasm. I have asked everyone I know including various Dr's. and they have no answers.

Every Dr. tells me it is totally irrelevant whether a person ever sneezes or not . That information does not console me. This problem has me totally obsessed, uncomfortable, nervous and depressed all the time. I keep waiting for the next urge to sneeze to come. It usually does at least once a day but then I cannot complete the act. Then I get depressed.

The only research I have found about this problem being medical is with people who have had strokes. Sometimes their brain stem and medulla will not allow the sneeze reflex to work properly. But then there are usually other reflex problems like inability to swallow and yawn that accompany stroke victims. I have none of those symptoms.

Up until the day that that person talked to me when I was about to sneeze I never even thought about the act of sneezing. I just sneezed when I had to like we all do. The few times I do sneeze now feel no different then when I cannot. The mechanism just decides to work.

Before that day four years ago I never even thought about sneezing. I do not ever remember not being able to sneeze when I had to. Now, sneezing is a nightmare.

I am a 60 year old male in very good physical condition. My very neurotic mind is another story. I have suffered from many O.C.D related issues including anxiety and hypochondria. Anyone out there know about this inability to complete a sneeze problem? Lately, I am thinking that the ability to sneeze normally will never return.

I have not sneezed even once in the last 5 weeks. I keep waiting for the next urge to sneeze to come. When I do sneeze I am seriously ready to go out and celebrate. I tell myself I am OK and that I will stop worrying about sneezing . I do stop for a few days. Then a sneeze urge comes. I can't complete it and I start obsessing again.

I am a 60 year old male in very good physical condition. My very neurotic mind is another story. I have suffered from many O.C.D related issues, anxiety and hypochondria. I am thinking that the ability to sneeze normally will never return.

Anyone have intelligent answers? Thanks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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