Written by Andy Youtz
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Sunday, 2 November 2008

Please listen carefully as the options have recently changed. If you have reached this recording we might be attending to other callers but more likely we're tied up in an interview or out on a photo-shoot.

If you truly have a plumbing problem note that Joe has indefinitely suspended his plumbing practice. To find an actual plumber look in the phone book under P.

If you are calling to book Joe for an appearance on late night TV, please press 1.

To leave any other message for Joe's publicist, Joe's Brother the Publicist, please press 2.

If you are one of my annoying neighbors calling to complain about all of the satellite TV trucks parked up and down the street, you're only wish…

For information about the book signing for I'd Rather Be Lucky than be a Plumber, please press 3.

To participate in Joe's chat room please visit TodaysCupOfJoe.web.

To learn more about the movie, Joe; Plumber, Dude, Legend, please press 4.

To hear a recording of Joe's conversation with Barack Obama, please press 5.

If you are calling about the White House plumbers, that was almost 40 years ago. Please hang up and get over it.

To listen to Joe's new C&W recording, Flushed with Success, please press 6.

For information about Joe's 10k McCain fundraiser go on line to RunForTheJohn.web.

To check availability of tickets to the play How to Succeed in Plumbing Without Really Getting Your Hands Dirty, press 7.

If you are calling for information about Joe's political action committee please visit WeThePlumbers.web.

To contribute to Joe's 2012 VP run please press 7.

For all other issues please leave a brief message after the tone and thanks for calling JTP.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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