George W. Bush to Dick Cheney: "Listen, Dick. I've heard that Putin is going around talking about our having double standards again. What's he on about this time?
"Our approach, according to which we can do in their traditional sphere of influence, for example in Ukraine, whatever we'd like to; yet, they can do in our traditional sphere of influence, say in Germany, just what we permit them".
"Wait a minute….Ukraine… isn't that where that hottie with the braided hair is in charge? Please, get me President Putin on the phone ASAP. Hello, Vladimir. I'd like to clear up a misunderstanding: Merkel is all yours."