Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for The Today Show Interviews Bristol Palin Bristol Palin shopping at Sak's Fifth Avenue with her mom (photo by Nancy Pelosi)

NEW YORK CITY, New York - A spokesperson for Sarah Palin has stated that the GOP vice presidential candidate is flying back to Alaska to vote and also to pick up some more clothes.

The NBC Today Show's Meredith Viera interviewed Palin's oldest daughter 17 year old Bristol.

MV: Good morning Bristol. How are you feeling?

BP: Good morning Mrs. Viera, I'm feeling fine.

MV: So Bristol, when is the baby due?

BP: Well Mrs. Viera, I'm not really supposed to talk about the baby. And it's not because I don't want to it's just that Mrs. McCain gave my mom a list of topics and things that she does not want me talking about.

MV: Really? Such as what?

BP: I can't talk about the baby, of course, and about the fact that I have skipped school a bunch this year. I also cannot say anything about Mrs. McCain's temper, her seven mansions, her $100 million, her size 11 feet, or her husband's comb-over.

MV: Gosh Bristol, that's a lot to have to remember.

BP: Tell me about it...and remember I'm only 17.

MV: So Bristol, did your mom actually return all of the $150,000 worth of clothes that she purchased with money that had been donated by GOP contributors.

BP: Yes, but Mrs. Viera, the media and you included are all forgetting that the cash donations all came from very rich and wealthy Republicans...I mean it's not like the money came from hard-working, middleclass Americans who are struggling to keep food on the table and to keep their jobs, their cars, and their homes.

MV: That's a good point Bristol. And I guess that when you put it that way, if your mom and dad wanted to take some of the GOP money that was contributed by rich Republicans who don't really work hard since, afterall they are the bosses, the owners, and the CEO's and buy you a big screen TV for your bedroom that would be okay.

BP: Bingo! Yes of course, now you see where I am coming from.

MV: So Bristol, tell me did your mommy actually take every bit of the clothes bought with GOP contributions back?

BP: Yes...and you've already asked me that question once. But I just remembered something. She took everything back except for one item. She did keep one of the bras that she bought from the clearance bin at Neiman-Marcus. It cost $87, and I went ahead and paid for it with my 'baby fund' money.

MV: That is so sweet. Bristol tell me, how far is it from Washington D.C. to your home in Wasilla, Alaska?

BP: Wow, I'm not sure...but I do know that it's real far because several times I've heard my dad tell my mom that he is so glad that he doesn't have to pay for the airplane tickets.

MV: Bristol, my producer just whispered in my ear piece that the distance is 3,352 miles.

BP: Okay, I do remember hearing that the distance was about 136 miles farther than the distance between Naples, Italy and Nairobi, Kenya.

MV: Bristol, getting back to the plane tickets. So your mom and dad don't pay for the tickets?

BP: Oh no. And again, the money comes from the generous donations that rich Republicans make to the GOP campaign fund...and there is nothing wrong with that Mrs. Viera so don't go and try to turn it around and say that there is something wrong with that or that my mom has to give the tickets back. Because I am not going to take any more cash out of my 'baby fund' money, I'm just not gonna do it!

MV: Well Bristol, I want to thank you so much for being here this morning, and speaking of morning have you been having morning sickness?

BP: Well not up until now...so Mrs. Viera, I suggest that you go to a commercial real quick...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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