Written by Sean Fenley
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Thursday, 16 October 2008

Generic National Review Bushevik, "Sorry comrade you're not going with the Poltiburo and the 'people's' candidate this time around. It's off to the gulag and thirty days bread and water for you. We don't care that your father was one our best jackbooted thugs and an all around swell guy (a good drinking buddy too). We have no use for one of the literati like you anyway, we're trying to dumb down the masses, and keep them in a state of mental paralysis; their only hopes of making 'sense' in the world through the fat man's radio show, and the telescreen via an inappropriately titled 'news' channel."

Buckley, "I'm sorry dear comrade, but I'll only disobey party orthodoxy this one single solitary time. It's just that the party's running a codger/Vietnamese concentration camp escapee, and a woman with the brain of an invalid and a witch hunting pastor. Why can't we run somebody like Ronnie Reagan again, who'll do a number on the peasants of Central America, while raising taxes on the middle class and decreasing them for wealthy? If only we had a plum candidate like that, I could follow the party dogma like every good Bushevik should."

Generic Bushevik, "No comrade, we can't make exceptions, we don't allow freewill or free thought around here (you know that). Sorry, this doesn't erase all your loyal years of service, you're still invited to the annual Bushevik Party galas, but we must make an example out of you to stop further critical thinking from emerging within the party. We certainly hope you don't join the liberal traitors, but we certainly understand if you do, because we can no longer keep our cult leader er magazine founder's little boy around spouting insurrectionary rubbish, like you've been doing of late."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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