Winter is at hand, and given the cost of heating fuel and electricity, The Spoof offers these valuable tips to save money this energy season.
1. Sharing body heat conserves energy. Delay the birth of any infants as long as possible.
2. Much body heat is lost through the head. Keep a smoldering fire in your hair during the winter months.
3. Shivering creates body warmth. Try to go through heroin withdrawal as often as is convenient.
4. Run any electrical appliances off of batteries. Steal the batteries.
5. Wear fur. Rich, luxurious fur. Because you deserve it.
6. Develop a mischevious, scheming personality so you can rub your hands together a lot.
7. See any movie with Leonardo Dicaprio. That man is electric!
8. Move around a lot like some crazy, hopped up jigger-jagger.
9. Take a lesson from the birds. Suet and insects are energy food.
10. Volunteer to work at a soup kitchen. It's probably heated, and you can score lots of free soup