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Tuesday, 14 October 2008

image for McCain Claims: I'm That Troubled One to Lead a Troubled Nation! Troubled America, I am you!

Washington had whalebone teeth. Lincoln suffered from depression. Grant was often drunker than W in the frat days. Arthur was ginormous and Roosevelt was in a wheelchair and had a really homely wife which is why he gave so much dictation to his secretary, but that's a spoof for another time. Truman blew up cities. Eisenhower was boring. Kennedy watched too many movie starlets and Nixon was a crook. Reagan was senile and Clinton's penis had an oral fixation. W made every other president's troubles look and feel like a little intestinal gas easily resolved with a burp or a fart.

Into this context John McCain told the American people today that he is the troubled man to lead a troubled nation. Mccain enumerated the troubles that he and the nation share:

"We are both irreparably scarred by Vietnam. We both needed to bailed out of economic trouble by an influx of somebody else's big bucks. We worry that a woman or a black person will get the job we were hoping for. life sometimes reminds us of a prison and we have a crazy fantasy that we can be saved from our ordinariness by a sexy stranger.

"Troubled America, I am you and you are me! Coo, coo, ca choo!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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