Written by Judge Retort
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Sunday, 12 October 2008

image for The Exciting Adventures of UBERDOG! Part-2

Überdog awoke. It was quiet up in his Basket of Solitude up at the North Pole, the axis of Earth's rotation-Überdog had recently lubricated the Pole and now Earth rotated silently again. He had to sleep wearing eye covers, however, because he hadn't figured out yet how to put out those annoying Northern Lights caused by the continual partying in Alaska ever since The Arctic Cat got hitched to Überdog's North Pole to be his mate forever-well, maybe just 4 or 8 years.

Überdog got up, stretched, yawned, nipped at a flea or two, and then went to make coffee. Coffee for two! It had been so long. He had grown so lonely!

He put together a dog's breakfast-in-bed tray with coffee, a bowl of Purina breakfast chow, and a little road kill compote from something he'd picked up off that long Alaskan highway-probably caribou, but hard to tell after being tenderized by an 18-wheeler.

No, she hadn't slept with him. The two mates would not consummate their relationship until after a civil ceremony at the Republican Con in St. Paul, Minnesota just a short flight away.

Überdog delivered the tray himself to another part of the Basket-the guest corner. It was early and he would not awake his trusty husky servants. He grinned as he passed them kicking, drooling, and chomping in their sleep, dreaming, no doubt, about cats. Überdog gritted his canine teeth; he would have to control his own primal urges in order to pull off the relationship with a running mate of the feline species.

He took The Arctic Cat's paw in his and the two rose into the chill polar air for the flight from the North Pole to St. Paul...only a moment later-the poor Arctic Cat unfortunately had blinked and missed the entire trip.

The Republicans, shivering in the cold at the airport, and swatting away the Minnesota mosquitoes with baseball bats, welcomed them heartily. Every Republican of Minnesota was there-both, in fact!

Überdog and The Arctic Cat headed toward the Republican Con. They were in for one big surprise!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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